I will prelude by saying that there is a different, more traumatic, type of stress that you feel when major life events happen like the death of a loved one, divorce, etc. Those are not included in this post (or in most of my posts). The steps to dealing with those types of stress are going to be different, more involved, and may even require professional help.
Have you ever gotten just a couple of hours into your day and gave up? Saying something like, “Can today just be over?” Or maybe you are dreading tomorrow before its even here. Why? Why do we get stressed? What are some common triggers that give us anxiety?
Here are the Top 3 Causes of Everyday Stress
First, that feeling that you don’t have enough time.
You run around all day “like a chicken with your head cut off”, exhausted by 2PM and you look around and it looks and feels like you’ve gotten nothing done. Your inbox is full again, there are four customers who are having “emergencies” that you still haven’t been able to get back to, or you ran into several issues working on your project that prevented you from making any progress.
You think if you only had one more hour in your day that you might actually make some progress. You end up coming in earlier and staying later, but fail to get ahead.
You need to learn how to take your day back and manage your time better. You don’t need more hours in the day, you need to use the ones you have more effectively. By following some simple time management techniques (prioritizing, scheduling, delegating, etc.) you can get more accomplished in a shorter amount of time.
Second, you try doing too much.
For whatever reason, in today’s society, we feel like if we aren’t doing everything imaginable that we are somehow failing. We are made to feel like we need to be superheros. A mom doesn’t feel like she is a good mom unless she is head of the PTA, enrolling her child in the best private schools, making sure her child is in sports, dance, band, etc., cooking healthy meals every night, cleaning the house to make it look show room ready at all times (despite the frantic toddler running around), keeping the toddler clean and looking like they just stepped out of a magazine, going to the gym to keep their mom-bod in tip shape, etc. This is not okay, this is not possible.
You need to determine and uphold your personal limitations and realize that while you can do more, it may require sacrifice in another area. Sure, you can go back to college but you might have to give up some of your time spent golfing. You can finally take that cooking class, but you might have to give up your weekly zumba class to do it. Also, don’t be afraid to say no to things that you know will just pile up on your plate and stress you out. “No” should be your best friend and a word that you learn to use with even the closest of people (yes even your friends and family).
Why does even the thought of going to your mother-in-laws feel make your heart rate go up, cause you to break out in a sweat, and fill you with that over-all feeling of dread? Why do you hate getting partnered up with the schmuck down the hall? Because conflict causes stress.
Its human nature to avoid conflict as best as possible, so when you know that there is a very good chance that a certain situation will bring about conflict and you go against your natural instincts, your body’s natural reaction is to become stressed. The opposite of anxiety is joy, and peace is like joy’s BFF. You cannot have peace in a place of constant conflict.
Although I realize there are times where you should stand up for what you believe in, I’m sure that 75% of the conflict in your life can be avoided all together. Quit bringing up topics that you know will start fights, avoid (if possible) people who are always confrontational, and do your best to redirect conversations away from conflict and instead towards compromise and solutions.
So, these are just 3 of the causes of stress in people’s lives, but there are more. Its good to identify what stresses you out, why it stresses you out, and the best steps to take to avoid the stress. Why? Because stress affects so much: our health, our minds, our emotions, etc. Subscribe to this blog to find out in the upcoming weeks exactly how stress affects you.
As someone who always made people ask, “How does she do it?”, I had to learn how to fit more into my day without completely losing my mind. Now I’m excited to share how I did that and what I’ve learned with everyone else. I just want to see people able to live the life they want, doing the things they want, without the stress they think is normal. I want everyone to experience Peace of Time.